No, all escort clients in Zurich are not necessarily "assholes" and not all women are losers. Some people are good people, have great times and can even fall in love. In an interview with a somewhat heartbroken client, we explore this reality.
"Recently, François (assumed first name) wrote to us: 'I frequent escorts in Zurich and I tend to fall in love with them...'. He wanted to share his story, with the aim of bringing a certain humanity to this type of relationship. Because for him, it is indeed about 'relationships'. We're going to talk about it.
Before using escorts in Zurich, François, a professional who has the appearance of a civil servant and above all his concern for the right word, spent a little over fifteen years with the mother of his children, who was in reality his first partner. They met as teenagers, and he observed her for many years. And in bed? 'No shit,' he responds sarcastically during our recent virtual meeting. 'Really rubbish.'
'Well,' he continues, 'I have a pretty strong libido, while she had very little. Honestly, it was like she wanted to get rid of it. Very disappointing.' Think about it: ten times a year maximum. 'And the Internet was my good friend,' he adds with a shrug.
Yes, absolutely. But the discussion did not produce anything good. On the contrary: 'It always ended in an argument. She made me feel extremely guilty for having a high libido. But despite everything, there was love,' he explains. 'She was a woman I loved very much. And then there were the children, the house, the classic things...' That's probably why they stayed together for so long. Because no, sexuality was not the 'central point' of their breakup."
It was only at the end of his relationship that, out of curiosity, François finally decided to take the plunge by responding to a classified ad for an escort in Zurichh in a newspaper (as was done at the time). His very first experience is anything but memorable. “It was really poor,” he repeats. At first, he feels torn: on the one hand, he is extremely nervous (because of the "illegal" aspect of the situation), but on the other hand, he is obviously excited (he admits that he there is a little thrill in transgressing the forbidden). Still, he can't help but think, "I can't believe I ended up paying for sex! I'm 30, in my head it shouldn't be like this ..."
It must be said that nothing turns out as he had anticipated. Imagine the scene: he shows up for the meeting the day before the scheduled day (they misunderstood the details), and the woman is eating while smoking, “almost in her pajamas,” he vaguely remembers. Suffice to say that the imagined decor is far away. "I did what I had to do, but it lacked eroticism. It was rather mechanical..."
Despite this mishap, he cannot help but do it again from time to time, here and there, although it is only once officially separated that François really begins to have "relationships" of this type, and this, more regularly with an escort in Zurich.
“About once every two weeks,” he estimates. Usually with different women. Until he meets an escort who puts an end to his desire to look elsewhere. “And I fell madly in love with her…” he said, smiling sadly.
He doesn't hide why: "There was a real connection between us, it happened naturally, as if we had known each other for ten years."
I felt like I was finally allowed to enjoy this. The escort dispelled those ideas that it was wrong. These ideas that I should control myself. This woman managed to make me feel that it was acceptable...
In reality, she concentrates on "her" pleasure, he on his, he feels that she appreciates it, especially since she does not hurry to finish it. It’s “sweet,” he says, and “tender.” And it lasts for hours. “I paid for an hour and it lasted two, three hours, because we were cuddling, talking, etc.” Almost like lovers, except for a few details: no “I love you” here, nor kissing on the mouth.
François doesn't hide it: "I would have liked to be her lover", he confirms, to the point that he stopped sleeping with her. Why is that ? "I no longer wanted to sleep with the escort, but with the woman..."
“There was an attachment,” he adds. They continued to see each other (she introduced him to her children, they even spent a Christmas together), but it ultimately ended there. "She didn't want to be my girlfriend, so there you go..."
We understand that it was not easy for François. “It was very difficult,” he confirms quietly. “Very, very difficult.” He even “mourned his existence”, as they say.
Parenthesis: we dare to ask him if he has questioned himself ethically. “Of course, yes,” he replies. “But when I feel that the pleasure is shared, that it is pleasant for both, these questions are much less present…” End of parenthesis.
And then life took its course. On a dating site, François finally met a girlfriend. An “extraordinary” relationship on a sexual level, even if it only lasted a few months. “And she also helped make me understand that I have the right to like it.” Then came another love story (without an escort this time), which lasted seven beautiful years (during which Eric never mentioned his past, because it was the "past", precisely). “And I still think of her,” he confides. “She’s an extraordinary woman.” Once again, in bed with her, it's "phenomenal". Things have really evolved in that regard. "The world stopped spinning, it's as simple as that. Every time, it was phenomenal! We were meant to make love together!"
Since then, François has resumed his sporadic meetings with escorts in Zurich and, as you guessed, he fell in love again with a woman with whom the connection was "magical". However, for some reason he doesn't really understand, this escort ended up stopping responding to his messages. She cut ties, in short. Once again he confirms: "I was very hurt."
It was open for over an hour. Not without difficulty, and we can guess that the conclusion he arrives at hurts him. François advances: “Yes, I am attached, because I have the impression that it is reciprocal! I think that I was a privileged client, but I remained a client despite everything!”
However, this is not what he wants us to remember from his story. On the contrary, he wishes that we "dramatize less" the role of escorts; "I know very well that runaway stories really exist. But this is not necessarily always the case...", let it be said considered something “normal”. And above all, he wants us to recognize the nature of “relationship” in all of this: “Because above all, it is a relationship.” Even if it is one-sided.